It’s not you. It’s them.

Help! I Have a Middle Schooler!

Your kids used to be fantastic human beings. They were adorable, hysterical, cute(r). Now they’re 12 and… not so much. You’re losing your mind, they’ve already lost theirs, and someone needs to explain why we’re calling each other “sigma.” It’s time to band together parents, and learn how to get out alive.

Who’s this chick, and why should I listen to her?

Hi, my name is Katie Speetzen, and I'm an accidental middle school expert. I've spent my career as a middle school language arts and social studies teacher, holding my Master's in Education from DePaul University and my BA in History from Northwestern University. I've worked in urban and suburban school districts in all aspects of the socio-economic landscape and discovered that nacho day cannot be beat in any school lunches.

More importantly, both my daughters are middle schoolers right now. Feel free to send all the thoughts and prayers my way.

ANYWAY, this blog is here for you, my fellow parenting soldiers. I'm going to discuss, in the most hyperbolic ways possible, at least the following:

  • homework help and study skills,

  • helping your child when they have bullies, and how to react if your child is the bully (it's going to be ok, and we're going to get through this as a family)

  • what does Jen Garner mean by “benign neglect?"

  • WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO MATH?

  • and I promise your child doesn’t hate you. For real. I did a poll.

Am I an expert in anything? Probably not. Have I seen a lot of action? You better believe it.

  • Let it go, don’t worry about it. You’re going to struggle. It’s going to suck just like for everyone else.

    Jennifer Garner

  • If you're the parent, be a parent. You know what I mean? I'm a parent. I have daughters.

    Eminem

  • I don’t know what I’m doing, but then I have to remind myself no parent does, right?

    Ellie Kemper

  • Skibidi toilet.

    Possibly Your Kid.

    (If You Know You Know. And I'm Sorry).