What is Executive Functioning Anyway?
If you went to your kid's parent-teacher night, you probably heard the phrase "executive functioning." You may have paid attention to what the teacher was saying, been distracted by your kid texting you asking why your family is out of Oreos (BECAUSE WE ARE), or zoned out. It's okay. It was 8 pm on a Tuesday. No shade. However, for those of you who honed in "executive functioning," you get extra credit.
But what is executive functioning, anyway? My favorite definition comes from edutopia.org: "Executive function is the brain's air traffic controller, intercepting a tangle of thoughts and impulses and steering [children] toward safe, productive outcomes. Executive function allows children to improve their abilities to stay focused, plan ahead, regulate their emotions, and think flexibly and creatively." In other words, positive executive function is how your child's brain organizes itself so they don't go bonkers, which in turn ensures you go (less) bonkers.
Some kids look at a folder and see a place to put papers; others see it as cushioning for the bottom of their backpacks. Some kids start studying for a test a few days before, and some realize they have a test when it's handed to them in class (what a fun moment for all!). However, because each human is different, there is no such thing as "good" or "bad" executive functioning. Executive functioning is a skill set; the key to strong EF skills is knowing what works for you and what doesn't.
For example, I completed papers a day or two ahead of time in school because the anxiety of not doing so gave me hives. Once it was turned in, I was a free bird and openly mocked my still hardworking friends. My brother, Brian, was the opposite. He'd push off work, freak out the night before, write a fantastic paper, and move on with his life. Interestingly, despite opposite EF approaches, we are both middle school teachers (nerds!!).
However, we didn't discover our unique approaches by waking up one day and saying, "Behold! I am 12! I understand my best time to complete my schoolwork!" There was a lot of trial and error. A couple of late-night play rehearsals taught me that I am a terrible writer under pressure, so I had to make something work for my anxiety to go down and still do the things I loved. Brian was a big thinker and procrastinator who drove everyone crazy by leaving stuff until the last minute. This caused our mother a considerable amount of angst back in the day. But it's just what worked for him—and still does.
Fun fact -- we're collaborating on a curriculum this year via Zoom, as he's in DC and I'm in Chicago. We meet every Sunday at 5ish Chicago time and determine where our curriculum is headed. I bend toward Brian by waiting until 5 pm even though I send him 10,000 things to look at by Wednesday. Brian bends towards me by reading stuff at 2:00 pm Sunday, not 2:00 am Monday. We get together and share our ideas. I take notes (THAT ARE SO BEAUTIFULLY ORGANIZED, YOU GUYS), and he spouts ideas from his head. We go back and forth on what makes a cohesive lesson. Even though we have opposite EF patterns, it works because we know how we think, and we've spent a lifetime getting here.
However, do you know who doesn't know their EF superpowers yet? Your middle schooler. And that's okay. They are beginning their journey and shouldn't have everything figured out. That doesn't mean we can't help them along their journey. While this is a brief overview of executive functioning and how it manifested in my family's life, we will dive deeper into how you can help your kid become the strongest learner they can be. It's a marathon, not a sprint, and all get there together.
And if you want to know what happened to the Oreos, I ate them and regret nothing.
